Getting a overachieving mind to slow down or take a break is exhausting. I’ve been telling my mind to stop, don’t think that, forget that, forgive that and your over reacting all day. I’m so tired. I know this is something it takes to practice to master but I’m so agitated by the process.

I’m semi-dating now and it’s about as fun as a semi hard penis. I mean as soon as you get a little excited about someone you meet, it goes limp and you’re uninterested or they are. Part of my issue is not the over population of single women, shallow dating apps nor under zealous single guys but my mental state right now. I’m fresh out of a divorce, mom of two and I’m use to navigating life the way I want. Now I have to consider so many things.

Is he a killer rapist? Is he intelligent or just arrogant? Is there anything he could teach me or anything he could learn from me? Does he have kids? Does he like kids? Soooooo many more questions but first the hurdle of remaining interested in what a person has to say or has going on.

So far practice has taught me a few things…Don’t tell a guy everything on the first call or messaging interaction. Ladies we think that being upfront, direct and honest will win us points but uummm…nope. It gives them all the reasons to doubt connection success upfront or at least think your a nut, get scared and run. Lower your expectations, this won’t be like your first love or even your second. Chemistry is a long game so pace and space. If the flame dies quick, reassess what happened on your end, know what your bad habits are, make adjustments and practice until you get it right with the right one.

One behavior I have had to adjust is I too quickly want to connect. I want to bare all and have a guy love that about me. Realty…um all that nakedness is intimidating and dudes need connection four play. Some guys don’t really want a connection or committed yet and baring all screams come love me, commit, or I should just fuck her and ghost.

I had a guy friend tell to be careful with the love I try to give so freely. He said some guys see it and will take advantage of you or immediately hide from it because they don’t know what to do with it. It briefly made my annoyance with dating seem justified because that’s what I was hypothesizing from my interactions. I also thought to myself damn, why won’t they just say that? But that would be too easy right. Meanwhile, I have ex’s waiting for me to say I will settle again. I’m not because I am more than confident there is a man who is going to love all of THIS. Until then… practice makes me perfectly irritated.