Im out of town for business and was feeling a bit down this evening so I decided to go to a restaurant across from my hotel. I never go out and eat alone, I always thought it would make me feel awkward or lonely but it didn’t. It was kind of empowering that I didn’t feel insecure about eating alone. I listened to a live jazz band, had a drink and talked to a guy. I wasn’t attracted to him but he was funny and had some really good insight about dating for guys.

He said women judge very quickly, often have a lot rules and standards. I had to laugh and agree because I’ve been that once upon a long time ago. He had a very southern accent with lots of slang and cursing but I didn’t mind it one bit because underneath it he had some really good messages about being true to yourself when dating. He said ”If you want someone lighter go find that motherfucker…or if you want someone taller go find that motherfucker and if you need someone with more money good luck because I can only be me and I won’t spend my energy trying to fit someone else’s fantasy of who they want me to be. I can only be me”. I was in awe of the depth of his message and thankful for the opportunity to chat with him.

He made me laugh and look at my pessimism about dating differently. We can too often get caught up in the work of being better and creating a better life that we forget that there are some enjoyable by chance out of routine messages out there waiting for us. If we stay in our routines, customs and I nevers, we will miss a lot of valuable moments, messages and people that progress us.